As soon as she was on the other side of the door, Brigham turned to me and declared earnestly, "Fig Newtons are pig food."
"Really. My grandpa had pigs and I am pretty sure that is what we fed them."
This is not the first time that Brigham has described food he does not like as being fit for pigs. There is the story of his mother walking out of the house after Brigham characterized as "slop" the food she had prepared for the family meal. (His mom doesn't remember; Brig still feels very guilty.)
It is mildly surprising to me when he disparages any kind of food item, since he claims, and I can bear witness, that Brigham's main objective in eating is simply "to get full." (Once when I was twisting in indecision over whether to make the baked ravioli or some other thing for the missionaries, Brigham advised me that it didn't matter because they just wanted to get full.) So in this way he is sort of like a pig--with higher standards.
Later that night, under instruction from me to make me laugh, he divulged that he used to be jealous of the pigs. Apparently, they also were fed past due hostess cupcakes. "They couldn't have been that bad."
As a little kid, I had also been envious of my grandmother's horses and livestock, since they were allowed to eat certain cereals that were off-limits to me. I used to steal their food as we headed out to feed them their Fruit Loops and other stale cereals that had probably been stored in some shed in an open container.
Is it silly to say that this made me feel closer to my husband? As it goes, I also happen to hate Fig Newtons. That plus the childhood eagerness to eat food designated for barnyard animals . . . well, at least we have that going for us.
13 comments:
Fig Newtons: Definitely NOT a dessert. Definitely pig food.
Past-due Hostess and Fruit Loops: Delicious.
If you and Brig ever need a Sister-Wife, let me know.
I have never met anyone who likes Fig Newtons. (Or anyone who eats right before they sing.) From my pre-gluten-free days, I seem to remember that the other members of the Newton family were okay - maybe enough to qualify them as dog food. But only cute, well-bred dogs.
Definitely not "fruit and cake", but I love Fig Newtons! Adam recently brought them home from the store -- I had no idea he liked them, too. And now Abby loves them (Grace and Miles wouldn't sample).
This only confirms my long-held belief: I am,in fact, a pig.
Monica, do you remember when we would call each other that in really silly and harmless tones? A few years ago I came across a note from you informing me that you were at the cannon center eating dinner. You addressed me as "Pig." I nearly cried from sentimental overload.
This is so funny, and I love that the lady was so earnest in saying that the choir would never make it through the rehearsal without them. Fig newtons are gross. We had them in the house growing up though.
And...I appreciate your help as to my dating experience. However, I really feel I communicated. He didn't seem to be so devasted to just be friends. I guess I don't blame him though for being cold when I saw him. And, yes, I was really fine to not date him more. Believe me, Hunter and I agonized over what to say, and if I did have any desire to date him, I would have said something different.
Believe me, though, I'll probably be scheduling time with you in the future. However, I really don't date much.
I am sure Brigham learned about how disgusting fig newtons are from me.
I certainly don't remember the "slop" story, so Brigham can stop feeling guilty about it.
Love to you all, Momo
This cracked me up. I did not grow up with or near barnyard animals, so this is all very foreign to me. I do remember, however, being somewhat jealous of the food my dad fed our macaws--a tantalizing smoothie of milk, bananas, and white bread. It looked delicious to me, but now I realize that it probably tasted gross. So maybe fig newtons are fit for macaws.
Of course I remember. I still think of you as "Pig". :) I almost addressed you as such in a recent email, but thought, "Maybe she doesn't remember that and will be offended." I also remember referring to certain people as The Fat Jacks. Didn't Jess start that?
Honestly, though, fig newtons are good.
On another cookie note, have you had Trader Joe's vanilla cream Jojo's? They taste EXACTLY like oreos -- maybe even better -- but don't have all the nasty ingredients. You should give them a whirl,if you haven't already.
Hilarious! I actually do like Fig Newtons. (As long as I don't recall the time my parents left the package on the floor near the door of our CA hotel room only to find the next morning that the ants crawling inside of them matched the figgy filling perfectly.)
But how about Raspberry Newtons?
That is hilarious! I love that story.
i think fig newtons are disgusting. what is a NEWTON?!
I have to agree with Brig. Fig Newtons = Pig Food.
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