Thursday, December 30, 2010

lucky seven


upon the occassion of our seventh anniversary

I met Brigham a few months after explicitly committing myself to a fairly formulaic dating regime. Essentially, I decided to quit dating men that were not, in my dad's word, "marriageable." Nice and funny were not enough any more; I needed someone who was serious about a real career, someone who could be a spiritual leader to me without being off-putting or judgmental of the little things like that I had to stop reading the Book of Mormon every day because the thought of a lifetime of perpetual rounds of reading the same thing that was not Harry Potter was just too much at one point, someone who was steady in mood, reliable and responsible. As someone whose favorite movie is Clear and Present Danger, I consulted my feelings for Jack Ryan and knew the truth: I need a man to whose back I could strap myself to be lifelessly carried through all of life's travails (and I am a feminist)
Our first date was to see the Mormon Short-Film Festival at the Provo Library. (During which we saw a clip of Napoleon Dynamite, a movie to which our reaction was identical in a way that is bizarrely important to me--we loved it the first time, wondered what we liked so much about it the second time, and back to love the third. Very bonding.) I barely knew the guy, but the activity selection gave me a positive impression. He may not remember this part, but even the conversation we had at my carell about the prospect of the Film Festival was perfect. He just got me, and I got him, and that was all there was to it.

The date was great and was followed by a series of other very impressive dates to such places as midnight runs to the Provo Hospital cafeteria (best milkshake in town!) and breakfast for dinner at Cracker Barrel (still a favorite, and I thought I hated the place). He was everything on my list, and, though I tried to not place too much emphasis on it, he was funny, too.

Brigham, meanwhile, didn't have a list. But he made one about me. After dropping me off at the conclusion of that first date, he enthusiastically punched the ceiling of the car in which we would later take our first born son home from the hospital for finally finding the type of girl he was looking for. (This still gets him a lot of credit from me). He wrote down in his notebook two things that he liked about me. Neither of us can remember the first (I think it was that I was an easy laugh) and the second was some observation I made about one of the film shorts. I liked that he was thinking like that.

As helpful as my list was to eliminating prospects that were not going to be right for me, in the end it just came down to a gut-check. After all, there are lots of guys who are serious and fun and kind and spiritual and smart. I knew and cared for a few. It got quite confusing, truly. The list could only take me so far. My heart took me to Brigham. I'm so glad I listened.

16 comments:

Momo Cannon said...

Very sweet, Alexandra! We are happy you found each other, too!!

Monica Rich said...

What a sweet post. May you have many, many, many more wonderful years together!

Holly said...

I love this! Can hardly believe seven years have gone by since those Courtship in the Carrels days. Our 7th anniversary is Sunday, and I look at Rob and our three beautiful children and feel intense gratitude and much relief that we found each other. Happy 7th to you guys!

Sarah said...

You are a really great storyteller! I'm glad you two found each other too.

Birrd said...

I really enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing.

brooke said...

I loved reading this too. Brigham sounds like a total catch. I love that you have the same sense of humor and felt the same way about Napolean Dynamite. I also love that you went to the Provo hospital for milkshakes at midnight!

I went to law school with Sam too. Great memories--though we didn't meet there.

Happy Anniversary!

Ashley said...

I love hearing about your dating story and also that you used to only look for guys that were funny. The fist bump in the car is the best part. There is something so admirable about a man who realizes how perfect you are! I'm glad you found someone both marriageable and funny! I know you had your pick of the single guys at law school--and at least in my opinion you chose wisely! (But you've gone too far to turn back now anyway, right? :)

Eliza said...

Have we discussed the Provo Hospital connection? My first date with Matt was at the very same cafeteria. (he took all his first dates there) We had hot chocolate though because it was January. Still...eerie...

Happy anniversary!!

Ie Li said...

I love this! Thank you for sharing. You are an amazing writer. Happy anniversary to a lovely couple.

Erin said...

That was such a fun read! I LOVE the story about Brigham punching a hole in the roof of his car. Now that is love! Happy Anniversary!

Mer Swift said...

Loved reading this. Love you guys. I talked to Katie Cannon today at church. She's so cute.

Michelle said...

seriously seriously LOVED this post. I just LOVE the way you write. It makes me smile. You're so dang cute Allie. Love you! We need to hang out!

The Cannons said...

Congrats on seven years. Chase and I are coming up on our 6th so you've beat us by a year:-) Also, congrats on the new house. Post pictures. We can't wait to see what it looks like. Sounds like a great area, close to your parents. You might be in my friends ward...Jill Tabatabaei?

Alison Moore Smith said...

You've been nominated for Best LDS Solo Blogger of 2010. Yes, you. Followed your link and read here. Great stuff, alexandra. :)

Alison Moore Smith said...

Sorry, here's the link to your nomination. :)

http://www.mormonmomma.com/index.php/2011/nominations-best-lds-female-solo-blogger-2010/

Carolina said...

What a sweet post. (A very belated) Congratulations on seven years!