Wednesday, March 19, 2008

News

While Andrew touched hands with a giant ape through the glass cage at the national zoo today, Will and I headed over to Children's Hospital for his much-awaited CF test. I mapquested my way to and from the hospital, so that was one stress eliminated.

I was also feeling a lot less stressed about Will's health, as well. We hadn't heard him coughing in over a week, and he just seemed to be doing better. My prediction of the outcome changed from 50-50 to less than 25% that he had CF. The purpose of this post is to inform, not create suspense, so I will state here that the outcome was a negative read (meaning that the test indicated he did not have CF). I was somewhat anxious as I carried him into the hospital, but my feelings now stemmed from a desire to confirm that he was not sick, not a fear that he was and an anxiety to begin proper treatment. In short, I was feeling pretty good.

The tears that came into my eyes ss I walked my almost certainly healthy little baby around that waiting area were not for him. In that sea of kids waiting with worried parents, I was painfully reminded of that small but sizable percentage of kids, maybe even kids in that very room with me, who were not going to be getting good news today.

Will was smiling at a really sweet little girl whose mom was trying to distract her from the giant plastic bags taped over both of her tiny arms. She really liked my baby, and he seemed to do a better job of keeping her happy than the giant fishtank placed in the waiting area for that purpose. Her mother told me that she did not know whether she or her husband were CF carriers and that they had no family history. I thought to myself that her odds were good that she was ok. And then I heard her terrible coughing. That was when I felt so deeply sad for all those kids whose little bodies have to fight such adult struggles.

There were lots of kids in that waiting room today, two of them were younger even than little Will. All the tests were completed by 2pm and sent to all the various pediatric offices to relay the news to all of us anxious parents. Today was, for our family, the conclusion of a fear, but for some other family, it was the beginning of a new, and scarier, life. I am thinking about them tonight.

13 comments:

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Ashley said...

That is SO wonderful about little Will! What a giant relief that must be. I am sad for those other families too, and every parent of a sick child. I never appreciated "health" until I had kids. Thanks for yet another reminder to be grateful and to remember those who have it so much harder.

Lyndsay said...

Oh I'm SO glad! One of my favorite people in the world (my freshman year roommate) has CF and while I initially (and ignorantly) envied her ability to consume whole milk and pizza without gaining weight, I later learned about her diagnosis. I have been fascinated with the disease ever since. I'm glad it's something little Will (and you) don't have to worry about anymore.

Tat said...

What a relief for you and yours. I'm feeling the tears well up in my eyes just thinking about it. It is hard enough to be the parent of a "normal" child, and sometimes I think that I have been given a healthy kid because God knows what a wimp I am. Anyway, sending our love.

Paul & Sarah said...

Alexandra, I'm so happy for you! What a relief, especially to be able to cast any fear of CF in Will out of your mind!
It really is sobering to have a healthy child when you know people who aren't as lucky. I remember in Wymount knowing two families who lost their babies after they'd lived for at least a year. I can't even imagine how hard that would be! The happy ending to that story is that both families did have another baby, and they are both very healthy.
I really admire you for your courage and strength, living with that fear throughout your pregnancy, and up until now. You're amazing!

Sister Abigail Cannon said...

We are so thankful that little Will will not have that very great challenge. You have all been in our prayers and thoughts the last few weeks. I was touched by your concern for the others awaiting news and for their sweet children. Some things in life are so difficult, it does make us all appreciate the sweet things. Wish we could give little Will a thankful hug. Love, Momo

Sister Abigail Cannon said...

We are so thankful that little Will will not have that very great challenge. You have all been in our prayers and thoughts the last few weeks. I was touched by your concern for the others awaiting news and for their sweet children. Some things in life are so difficult, it does make us all appreciate the sweet things. Wish we could give little Will a thankful hug. Love, Momo

Carolina said...

Oh, what a relief. I can't imagine what it must feel like to be one of the parents that get a positive result for a diagnostic test like that.

woobers_mom said...

It is great news for baby William, but sad news for another who awaited the results.

Thank you for reminding all of us to remember those who may face trials that baby William will not.

Michelle said...

what great news. I have actually been thinking about you all week because i knew his appointment was this week. what a blessing. love you guys.

Troy and Nancee said...

I'm so glad the test was negative. It's amazing how much you care about these little ones and their well being. I was in tears for 10 minutes the first time Erica got her shots and those were just shots. I can't even imagine what you've gone through.

Lauren said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Audrey said...

I am so relieved to hear that news. Your post was thought provoking as always. It is good to always be aware of and sensitive to those who do face the difficult news too.