Saturday, April 25, 2009

Twilight: A Movie Review

Wedding announcement photo for Bella and Edward, taken in front of the Botany Pond, BYU campus, after a group date involving skits and dance routines.

Last night, Brig and I watched (endured) Twilight. I read every one of these books, with decreasing enthusiasm. I am always inclined towards a Harry Potter-esque world into which I can escape and was left in a funk after completing my rounds of Harry Potter. Book 7 made me sad in its own right anyway.

Anyway, Twilight was there to fill the void Harry left. I obtained a copy a week or so before Will was born in late October of 2007. It was unseasonably hot that fall, the leaves were beautiful, I was excited about the new baby and I was so happy to be on mild bed rest. Reading about vampires and werewolves in a rainy far-away place was perfect, and my mood was set to enjoy. I was even prepared to overlook that her name was "Bella Swan."

But the movie (and all the books that followed the first) let me down. I could go into a deeper critique, but am pretty sure that it would be even more boring than the movie itself. So, instead I will report the three statements that Brigham made during our viewing:

1) "At least it is realistic. Look, they argue and he acts really weird and gets angry easily, and makes her angry easily, but she loves him because he is good looking."

2) "Sure they are melodramatic. They are teenage vampires. What do you expect?"

3) A few seconds of quiet laughter. "This is the worst movie I think I have ever seen."

I think I might have squeaked by on enjoying it if James Marsden had played the role of Edward. Maybe he doesnt look like a high school student, but at least he is actually attractive.

To those of you who love Twilight, I mean no disrespect. After all, I do watch Medium. I even DVR it.

23 comments:

Todd and Juliana said...

amen. I totally agree!

PS- Can I just say that I love your blog... especially your writing style. everything you say is REAL. Your blog paints a real picture. I feel like so many blogs attempt to trick us into believing people live perfect lives, when in fact we know that no one does. I always go to your blog to have a good laugh and get good insight... love ya Ali!

Sarah said...

I can't say I ever read the books, but I DO plan on seeing the movie, mainly because I know it will be dumb and mildy entertaining. I love Brigham's quotes! They make me want to see it even more. :)

Monica Merced Rich said...

Don't even get me started on Twilight. I'm amazed you endured the movie.

Tiana said...

As you know I started reading the books when I was sick pregnant with Ellie, so we (me and the books) have a bond. But I will be the first to admit that I am forcing myself to like the movie because I love the books so much. Of course, I don't think they could ever make a movie as good as what I was seeing in my head while reading. (now I am the one sounding moronic). Don't worry, no disrespect. I know I have a bizarre obsession with the books.

Jacqueline Auna and family said...

You and Brigham are funny - it makes me want to watch a movie with you guys to hear your insightful commentary. But I agree, a lot of it was painful to watch - I was embarrased by the cheesy diologue/delivery. Especially the second time I watched it - but I am an easy critic and still like the books and the movie.

Ashley said...

Yes! Yes! James Marsden! He is so cute.

I read the first Twilight book--thought it was fine. That's where it ended for me. But we had a similar experience with Nights in Rodanthe last night. (Richard Gere). Don't see it. What does it take to get a decent movie around here?

Tat said...

I didn't see the movie. I did read the books, with much the same reaction you had. I agree that they surely could have found someone much more attractive to play Edward.

SPOILER ALERT - I add as a corollary that it illustrates how awful my pregnancy was that I envied Bella her horrific vamp/human hybrid one. Including the ridiculous V-section delivery (where V stands for "Vampire-bite"). I mean, at least her pregnancy was freakishly accelerated.

Eliza said...

Was there really a "V-section"? Did I read that right?

I've never read any of the books. I'm mildly interested in trying them but am pretty sure I wouldn't make it through. It's not like I don't like sappy/cheesy books or the supernatural, because I like both. (Buffy the Vampire Slayer is one of my favorite TV shows ever. Did I just reveal too much?) But somehow I just don't know if I could take the Twilight books or movie. I know it sounds snobby, but it's true.

Holly said...

What is it about pregnancy and reading Twilight? I, too, read Twilight when I was pregnant with Matt. Read may be overstating it. I tried very hard to make it all the way through the first book, but couldn't get through the rest. Kudos to those of you who made it all the way through the series and then the movie.

That said, I do appreciate that Stephenie Meyer is getting positive press from the likes of the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal for making it cool to practice abstinence until marriage. I guess given the alternative stories available to teenage girls, I'd prefer my daughter to read this.

Dan and Hilary said...

I definitely agree with you concerning the Twilight books and wanting to fill a Harry Potter void. The Twilight books are a good quick read, but I wasn't expecting much from them so it was hard to disappoint me. However, I would love to read your commentary on the books as I love your wit expressed in your writing!:)

kentandnellie said...

I could barely get through Twilight the book. Twilight the movie was about the same, but I had to see what the craze was about. I finished the book this year and watched the movie after it came out on dvd so I was a little late, but I'm fine with that. And Harry Potter, loved those books as well. Books 3 and 4 were the best. They weren't as good after that.

By the way, I bought that children's book "The Wall" and it's great. I'm learning so much. Thanks for the blog recommendation.

Maddy said...

hahaha seth and i cracked up when we saw what you said about Bella and Edward's "engagement photos"

seth and I have the movie and love it. But we do realize it is a total guilty pleasure and is not high art in the least, but sometimes you just like really stupid stuff!

Alexandra said...

I am all about finding joy in dumbbell things. Charmed was my favorite show for a number of years (25-28). Yeah, I was old. And I love Buffy, too, though I don't actually consider that to be dumbbell.

I love Aaron Spelling.

Troy and Nancee said...

I am surprised you endured all the books. I made it throught the first one and then saved some time by reading summaries of the others on Wikipedia. They actually do a pretty good job. Still haven't been able to bring myself to watch the movie.

Alisha said...

I haven't read the books but was lucky enough to see the movie on a flight to SLC last month. I am glad I didn't pay a dime to see it.

Eric's reaction - watching it without sound - was, "The whole movie is an Abercrombie and Fitch commercial. Seriously, you could cut up every second of the movie and paste the image on A&F bags."

Seeing the movie has helped me decide not to read the books. I have Nancy Drew piling up on my shelves if I really want an escape. (You're welcome to borrow them if you want to fill another void.)

Alicia said...

Don't ever try listening to Twilight on tape. It's worse

Lauren said...

Well said. I couldn't finish the first book. When Dale travels I am always tempted to order the movie on demand but I haven't seen it yet.

Cheers to your review - it made me laugh:)

xo

Gina said...

You are hilarious. What's worse is that Alex and I just watched it, but his comments were, "How could you read these books?" and "This is almost the worst movie I've ever watched." I won't even tell you about the worst movie. I liked the books, but the movie was awful.

The Cannons said...

It is so refreshing to find a fellow "twilight hater." I only read the first three. I couldn't bear reading another and the only reason I went to the movie was to experience a night out with the girls (which when you talk to a toddler all day sounds absolutely wonderful). The movie was horrid!! I am glad I didn't take Chase to see it with me. The funny thing is that I only read the books because my family owns a children's bookstore in SLC so we all felt obligated. I'll never make that mistake again.

Carrie said...

I devoured the first book in two days (and in the process ignored my family, the house that I needed to be preparing to sell, and my calling). I made myself wait to start the next one until I could justify it. I had a solo trip out west for a funeral and deemed the plane trip a good time to start. I got about halfway through the book and then couldn't make myself finish it. It was just a plain old waste of time. I haven't seen the movie but don't plan on it because, as you stated, Edward isn't even hot. I might change my mind though.

Merianne said...

I ran across your blog from Alisha's and thought I'd comment on this post. I went to the movie "Twilight" during Christmas and it was honestly the biggest waste of my time. I kept looking at my watch thinking, "when will this be over?" I didn't dare tell anybody for fear they'd rip my head off, I really thought I was the only girl in America who thought it was lame. I wasn't a huge fan of the books either so I'm not surprised the movie stunk!

Jacqui said...

I'm a first time blog stalker of yours (I hopped here from Ashley C's blog), but I just have to comment on Twilight. I finally saw the movie last week (after months of harassment from my book group for never having read the series/see the movie) and it WAS painful. I'm tempted to read the books only to see if there's any more character development, but I still probably won't take the time. BUT, my husband and I did watch it again, this time dubbed in Spanish with english subtitles (Spanish is not our native tongue, but we're both fluent) and it was much better. Go figure.

I love James Marsden. Love him. Especially in Hairspray when he dances. Woo! What a cutie.

Alexandra said...

Jacqui: I am flattered that you read and left a comment! I think that is hilarious that it was better in Spanish, but maybe that makes sense. It may be even better with only soundtrack music rather than dialogue.